Schedule Triage

Ok. After posting yesterday, the way went downhill. The exercise regimen didn’t start up. Ate junk food for dinner. BUT the dogs were carried for a walk, so I was able to salvage some parts of my schedule.

The good thing about having a fixed schedule is that when things start to fall apart, it becomes possible to perform triage (I always wanted to use this word). I was able to look at my schedule and decide what was going to be saved and what was just not going to happen.

The first things to go were the optional tasks – going to get some pictures framed, looking for new sandals.

By the time I realised things were far downhill, I already knew I was heading towards a (non) schedule where I would eat junk food, read for two hours, miss my exercise class, not walk the dogs and feed them very late.

Rather than try to get everything back in place, stress myself out, and fail at getting anything I want done, I chose damage control and compromise. I still ate junk food, but at somewhere closer to home. I decided to walk the dogs later – but still walk them. They’d still get fed pretty late, but at least they’d get fed and walked – which they and I would prefer.

The exercise class just didn’t happen. But you can’t win them all and I was at least able to call the instructor to say not to expect me.

This is one of those glass half full situations. I could agonise about that I screwed up my diet, didn’t get my scheduled tasks done, missed my exercise class. I could be stressed that I’m falling into depression and failing again.

Or, I could congratulate myself for still getting the dogs walked and working hard to ensure the situation didn’t degenerate further. And trust me, it took a lot of hard work and a lot of focus and a lot of effort to hold even the partial schedule together.

I refused to be stressed out. My current way of thinking is – ah well, tomorrow is another day. What didn’t get done will get done when it gets done. I’ll be back on my diet again, and I can join the exercise class next week. And I know that things take a little longer when you are bipolar, so why stress about any of this.

I’ll celebrate the victories that I have. I eventually ended up on my porch last night watching the full moon rising. Gorgeous. Life is good.

One thought on “Schedule Triage

  1. I get anxious at times then I say that I’ll never do it again because it’s really silly. Then the next hour I’m fussing and I’m irritated at something else. There are times when I am anxious and hyperactive: that’s even worse! Gosh my shoulders ache from worry. And it’s all over nothing really: chemical imbalances in my brain. I find it hard to live with others even my family. I need my space because one second I am warm & bubbly in the following second I withdraw very easily or become cold. In 2 months time we go on a Christmas vacation with my family. How do I make it fun for everyone else. When I am tense it’s so blatant (blame my body language and frankness). Should I tell people exactly how I feel? Even if that might potentially mess up their joy? How do I deal with the illness alone? My personal journal doesn’t exactly give me much consolation!

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