Family | Partners | Dating | Children | Friends | Parents

If your child, spouse, sibling, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, parent or friend is bipolar, you suffer almost as much as they do. Here’s an insight on what it’s like for us and also things you can do to to help us, and yourself. Note: I use “partner” as my catchall phrase. But the information often holds equally well for children, parents, etc. Substitute as necessary.

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9 thoughts on “Family | Partners | Dating | Children | Friends | Parents

  1. 12 yrs ago I met a man he was fun uplifting, kind of crazy out there in a fun kinda way bit of a risk taker kinda devil my care atttitude and to a fault professer,teacher for seven yrs like this then he lost his job suddenly having panic attacks then staying in affraid to go out then 2 suicide attemps, got on meds vombee for about a year then after switching meds several times he was great quite normal calm loving just quite normal. see I didnt know what mania was so the man I met I thought it was just a out going personality.so now after 4 yrs of normal I se this person I first met increasingly coming back and very quickly gambling womonizing spending money being harsh crude and lots of risk taking. so I asked him if he was feeling manic and he said his daughter who is a nurse prac. asked the same thing. the only thing that has changed is that he has started smoking pot and stoped taking his time release valum, could this trigger this? he is on cloud nine and wont listen im sure he likes the way he feels but what comes next the crash? I love him but I dont know if I want to go through this again Im 62 but a young 62 I want to enjoy the rest of my life. we have a long dis relationship, and im quite the snoop so I know what hes doing hes dating, on single web sites and thinks I dont know.do I blame his illness and stay or give up and say ta ta!

    • I am a 45 year old man with bipolar disorder. I lost the love of my life because I was out of control with manic behaviour over the years, and broke up in a complete mania at the end of last year. But….I was never diagnosed. Now that I have been diagnosed, I know I must take my meds (lithium) and avoid “triggers” for manic behaviour. This is a lifelong commitment to altering my entire lifestyle, even though I have lost my mate, I am still committed to changing my life and getting myself back under control. If your lover is 100% committed to his own recovery and to you, he will not hide anything from you, he will be taking his meds, he will be going to sites like this one, not dating or porn sites, in other words his commitment to you will be totally evident in all he says and does. I am not a jerk, but I acted like a jerk when I was manic, but I also didnt know I had bipolar disorder. Now that I know…I can control it. If he knows and he isn’t taking responsibility, then he is either jerk, or not strong enough to overcome his problem. ditch him immediately until he cleans up his act.

      • My unmedicated bipolar boyfriend broke up with me the end of June stating he didn’t want to cheat on me, because he respects me so much. Since then he rarely sleeps lost his job is sleeping very little on a dating sites constantly. He continues contact with me saying I’m an amazing woman but he never sees us getting back. Whenever I try to break all contact he almost starts crying, he calls me weekly to tell me about his “dates” and all the woman he is talking to, but whenever something happens in his life he calls me. I just came from the emergency room because I’m now having panic attacks. He’s always been nice to me we spent 10 months together as a couple and he was the kindest gentlest person. He still is except for this desire to conquer any woman he comes into contact with except me. He wants to hang out but friends only and I can’t handle that. He’s been drinking to excess, smoking pot, and just told me last night he did a line of cocaine. When I tell him I’m worried about his behavior and health he just says I’m being negative. My question is will he try to come back to me after he crashes is this why he’s keeping me close? If not why the need to keep me close in other relationships he just broke it off with no contact. He has always said no one has treated him as well as I do and he’s constantly asking if I’m going out or have a boyfriend even in his manic state? I would really like the perspective of someone that has experienced this. Thank you so much.

      • My unmedicated bipolar boyfriend broke up with me the end of June stating he didn’t want to cheat on me, because he respects me so much. Since then he rarely sleeps lost his job is sleeping very little on a dating sites constantly. He continues contact with me saying I’m an amazing woman but he never sees us getting back. Whenever I try to break all contact he almost starts crying, he calls me weekly to tell me about his “dates” and all the woman he is talking to, but whenever something happens in his life he calls me. I just came from the emergency room because I’m now having panic attacks. He’s always been nice to me we spent 10 months together as a couple and he was the kindest gentlest person. He still is except for this desire to conquer any woman he comes into contact with except me. He wants to hang out but friends only and I can’t handle that. He’s been drinking to excess, smoking pot, and just told me last night he did a line of cocaine. When I tell him I’m worried about his behavior and health he just says I’m being negative. My question is will he try to come back to me after he crashes is this why he’s keeping me close? If not why the need to keep me close in other relationships he just broke it off with no contact. He has always said no one has treated him as well as I do and he’s constantly asking if I’m going out or have a boyfriend even in his manic state? I would really like the perspective of someone that has experienced this. Thank you so much.

    • It is time to move on you do not deserve this and I know that you feel you don’t…I married someone with bipolar with deep depression. It was hard to do anything to pull him out of it and his doctor said he has to try more himself with his medication. We had 2 kids and I oushed him to go golfing and his hobby painting murals on kids walls and living room walls. I got lost in the shuffle as I was both mother and father to both kids as he just worried about himself and what he could do. This went on for years and they were wasted years I can never get back. .I worried his health and not my own and when I got Epliepsy and a bone disease in my back he wanted a divorce. He said he did not want to take care of a cripple, but I took care of myself! He bugged me daily to find a place over and over and made me sleep in the basement for months…
      No Apt’s would accept me I had no credit from paying rent living in a place on my own and no proof I payed on time. I was so scared as my mobility was so bad and never knew at the time I did not have to leave he did. We still had our 16 year old living at home acting out not talking to me anymore as her dad was spoiling her rotten. In the end he pushed me out with all the mental abuse and 25 ibs I lost from a already slender frame. I was 93 lbs and 5’6 and looked like I was deathly ill. A friend I had not seen in a long while took me in and helped me find a Co-op low rental and a lawyer and got him to pay my rent and utility’s ect.My Apt, was a tiny box 500 square feet and I hated it. My son stopped talking to me so I lost a lot…I miss my kids so much. I just want my house sold split it up and he must continue to pay support. He make a very good wage and has had a girlfriend for years. He won’t agree to a divorce but at this point I moved to a bigger place with my 2 cats one I took from the house (we had 4… and I have a nice boyfriend for over a year so life is better.
      Do not stay in a bad relationship when there is a better life out there it is not worth it, life is too short…

  2. I’m border line and my boyfriend is undiagnosed by polar i love him so much but this has being very difficult, because he drains me completely, right now he is going through a maniac episode that I trigger two weeks ago, we are being dating for two years and he has broken up with me constantly, even though he is not taking any meds he does not have any addictions that I know! But he is very very argumentative, critical and harsh. He is constantly monitoring my life style and if I don’t follow he starts and argument that will last hours at first I didn’t know that he was by polar so I used to fight with him that used to make him very aggressive, and I was having panic attacks once he saw that I was getting like that he stops and the next day he will start his depressive cycle…I don’t know how to respond and he easily frustrates me. He requires 24/7 attention but he becomes unreasonable and he only sees the mistakes i do but the constant work that I put in this relationship, nobody approves or supports this relationship. His family thinks I’m crazy because I have left him twice and my family don’t like him because he is aggressive. I need a support system to keep my own sanity, and I can’t leave him, I know it has not being easy for him because I’m border line….but I’m tire and I need some advise

  3. Pingback: Dating Someone With A Bipolar Parent | My Blog

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