Can I Tell if I Am Manic?

Someone asked me - "When you are manic, is it was possible to tell if you yourself are manic, or do you just think you are acting normal." It is a good question. The answer is - yes, it is possible for me to recognise the symptoms of mania while I am manic. But like... Continue Reading →

Jumping Through Hoops / Ketamine

Still trying to get a medically supervised test of Ketamine scheduled. Yeah, in a hospital and all that. Hopefully this will happen in the next two weeks. Meanwhile I have... (A) Got Blood Tests done. My blood sugar is normal, and my lipid profile is ok and in the safe regions, although my LDL levels are... Continue Reading →

Still Not Depressed

It's been 11 days since I took the 20 mg of Ketamine. I still haven't gotten depressed yet. This is exceptional because according to my experiences from the last 15 years, I should have gotten depressed already. More to the point, I've taken no other medication since I took the Ketamine. Quite frankly, I'm quietly celebrating. If... Continue Reading →

Ketamine and Being High

Ok, the damned stuff is used as a recreational drug too. What is the high like? Well, it didn't seem very impressive to me. Ketamine does create the dissociative state that you will read about. It is hard to describe - my best description is that it is like standing about 6 inches outside your... Continue Reading →

Ketamine is Complicated

Here's an update about Ketamine. The good news is that the Ketamine works brilliantly to pull me out of depression - it happens within about an hour if I take the Ketamine in injectable form. The bad news is that my doctor (general practitioner / GP, not psychiatrist) believes that the Ketamine dose I took... Continue Reading →


Every time I try a new drug and it goes well the first day or two, everyone around me goes "Yay!! - Everything will be hunky dory now. You're cured!! Stride into the future and don't look back!!!" And I say "Well, maybe." "Be positive!" they say. "Why are you always so pessimistic?" Guess whose... Continue Reading →

Depression and taking Ketamine

I tried Ketamine yesterday. I had been in a depression episode that lasted through all of September, which is a very long episode for me. This is problematical, because while many of the antidepressants have some effect in preventing me from getting depressed, none work to actually get me out of depression. So there I... Continue Reading →

Am I Manic Depressive?

The problem about being manic depressive (bipolar) is that there is no conclusive test for it. There is no blood test, no clear symptom, nothing really to measure. This makes it really difficult to (a) determine if you might be manic depressive or (b) determine if the diagnosis given to you by a psychiatrist or... Continue Reading →

Tegretol: Effects and Side Effects

Tegretol pulls me down from mania quickly I tried taking Tegretol (carbamazepine) as an antimanic and as a mood stabiliser. Because of my general resistance to drugs I do not take it daily. However, if I am feeling manic enough that I do not think I can manage using just behaviour adjustments, I take Tegretol, and... Continue Reading →

Ideas for Reducing Stress / Anxiety

I've found the following to be helpful in trying to ward off stress, mood changes, anxiety, and mild mania without medication. I have found no good wards against low moods or depression. If you find that you are tense, or are being stressed out, or things are happening too quickly, or it is all too... Continue Reading →

Do the Drugs Work?

It takes us a while to get past the idea that taking drugs somehow makes us weak, or less than in proper control of our lives. But eventually we reluctantly start to take them, and not unreasonably, we expect that the drugs will make us better. Wrong. Well, they do make us better. Sort of.... Continue Reading →

Should I Take this Medication?

It is quite reasonable for you to have some concerns about taking medications / drugs. You might feel they are a final admission that really is something wrong with you - that you really may have mood swings. They may make you nauseous or cause occasional blurred vision or have other side effects that interfere... Continue Reading →

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